I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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