i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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