we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's official drugs can't kill me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
