Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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