A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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