At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
