You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
