He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
