margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
