he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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