I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize