I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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