Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
