I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
