I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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