I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
