Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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