My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
