The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
