I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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