I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
