Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
