No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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