So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
