Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need water and some morals
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
