I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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