names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
