Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
