my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
