Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
