Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
