Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
