My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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