my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
