why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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