Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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