They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
