Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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