gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
