I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
