Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
