Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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