sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
