The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
