I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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