I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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