dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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