I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
