The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
