That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
