We won't sleep together?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
