I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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