you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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