Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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