I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
