I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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