there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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