so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
