When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
