Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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