I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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