I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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