Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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