You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
