dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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