yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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