I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
